24 Life Lessons

24 Things I've learned In 24 Years

24th Birthday Goal: TO LIVE

Wow, my 24th birthday is exactly twenty-five days away, and as exciting as that may be –

I find myself thinking about where I am in life, what I’ve learned and where I want to go next. Getting older comes with a lot of self-reflecting and soul-searching, and although I may not be where I want to be, as I look back on my life, I feel a wave of satisfaction knowing how far I’ve come. I’ve grown as an individual in so many ways and pushed myself through tons of emotional and physical challenges.

This thing called life has been an experience... it is an experience filled with ups and downs but I’m beyond grateful to be here and I’m looking forward to the future filled with love, laughter, success, adventures, new memories and so much more.

One of the best things about turning twenty-four is that I still have so much more to learn.

1. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” -Robert Frost

Life doesn’t stop because you aren't ready.

2. Appreciate your loved ones while you still can…

*this should be self-explanatory*

Life is short, tomorrow isn't promised, and every day is a precious gift. Say “I Love You" more, say it randomly, smile freely and appreciate the gifts the world has to offer. Remind yourself that nothing is permanent, not the materialistic things, not your pet(s) or the people you love most in this world. Often when tragedy knocks on our door, it's sudden and overwhelming. Take a moment to accept the fact that one day those individuals will no longer be around, and we can't possibly know when it’ll be there time to go so, appreciate the small things and express your gratitude.

Try to remember that no one but, YOU is responsible for you and your happiness and no one is obligated to show you kindness or “do the little things that make you smile”, even if they do love you so, when they do it.. let them know that they're loved and appreciated.

3. You will outgrow some friends; it's part of growing up…

Friendships are unique relationships because unlike family relationships, we make the conscious decision to enter them.

The sad truth is, not all friendships will stand the test of time.

Everyone has a different dream that their hearts are pulling them towards which means different paths.

Remember that not everything you lose is a loss, which means acknowledging the loss of the friendship without denying everything that was once so magical about it.

4. We accept the love we think we deserve

It's an unhealthy cycle that needs to be broken.

At some point many of us have found ourselves in questionable friendships and relationships, unable to walk away- I know I have. We often give more than we should while receiving less than we deserve. We hope that our partners or friends will change or that we ourselves and our love can change them. We accept their lies, manipulation, disrespect, selfishness and inconsideration: normalizing their toxic behavior.

Failed relationship after the other and failed friendships leave you questioning your worth, wondering if you're “hard to love?”

From me to you, you're not.

Like me, you may just be giving all your love away to the wrong people; to people who aren't able to reciprocate.

5. Break the cycle

Emotional pain is a universal language. Tons of us have found ourselves prisoners to our past and the possible pain it carries. We hold on to hard feelings towards an incident or individual and we let our past struggles and pain become who we are.

It won't be an easy journey, but search within yourself and find the strength to let go, find the strength to learn from it and move on. Remember, you are the author of your own life; if you don't like your life story, change it.

6. Love people, use things

*the other way around is just rude*

7. Stop making excuses for people who are not pulling their weight – nuff’ said

8. Not everyone will like you – that's okay

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and neither are you - that is beyond okay.

Not everyone will like you, but a lot of people do like you. If somehow you can change someone’s opinion of you down the line, great, however if you're unable don't waste your time and energy trying to make someone like you. You should never have to stifle your being, your personality, your creativity or your voice to be accepted.

You don’t have to let everyone in. It's okay to try, it's okay to open up, but proceed with caution and remember that not everyone deserves your heart or energy.

Be kind, not naïve.

9. Growth doesn't always feel pretty.

It's never easy. It can be an uncomfortable, nerve wrecking and emotional process but, the outcome will be worth it. You'll find yourself holding on to what could ‘ve been, terrified to step out of your comfort zone while worrying about what is to come, hesitant to look to a future full of the unknown.

Growth doesn't have to be so intimidating … try viewing it as new adventures, new opportunities, new friends and new memories to create

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Consider embracing growth and allowing yourself to get pulled out of your comfort zone, occasionally.

10. Failure isn't an option – it's a necessity

I fail all the time; I just don't give up (as much as I want to). Take the risk, if you fail learn from your mistakes and instead of changing the goal, change the plan. Failure is inevitable, but you shouldn't give up and walk away without giving your all.

As cliché as it sounds, know that failure is a part of success.

11. Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will!

12. Learn how to make yourself happy

Writing this list forced me to reflect, and I realized that throughout the years I looked to my friends and family for support, love and confirmation. I left them in charge of my happiness: I felt like it was their responsibility and because of that, I spent years feeling miserable and emotionally drained. I’ve done some soul-searching, began my spiritual journey, and I've learned how to love myself, treat myself and support myself.

I know just what I need, and I provide myself with whatever it is.

13. Trust your intuition more often

14. There is so much beauty in the little things

Fuzzy socks, my favorite snacks, that first sip of ice-cold water, the sun on my skin – the list is endless.

Try finding the beauty of life in those “little things” and moments.

15. Communicate & Comprehend

In your relationships it’s important to communicate how you're feeling. You aren't surrounded by mind readers, no one should be expected to know how you're feeling if you keep it to yourself. Learn how to communicate, respectfully. I also believe it's equally important to learn how to be on the receiving end.

Seek to learn something new in every conversation. You'll learn way more by listening than by talking. This is where comprehending comes into play, listen to understand … not to defend.

When I think of communicating and comprehending, the word "L-U-V" comes to mind.

L - Listen, U - Understand, V – Validate

16. Money isn't everything

It comes and it goes. I've always believed and firmly stood by this idea. There's so much more to life than money however, it’s a necessity to survive in the world.

17. Adulting is really f***ing expensive

Adulting is overrated! Remember when we couldn't wait to grow up? Ha, Jokes on us!

18. Plan for your future without forgetting about the present

Stop worrying about the future so much. I know it's easier said than done, and annoyingly at 24, I feel as though I should have everything figured out. Writing this list also forced me to acknowledge that although I’ve been alive for 24 years but, I have yet to live. It’s unfortunate that we direct so much of our energy and time towards the future and worrying about what's to come.

Try living in the moment and making the most of today instead of anticipating tomorrow. I'm not saying, push your dreams and goals aside entirely but, occasionally … take a step back and enjoy life.

19. Don't be a prisoner to your cellphone

Put your phone down and live a little more.

It's cool to take photos, create new memories and capture those precious moments but, learn when to put the phone down.

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Time away from your phone is time well spent.

20. It's important to do more of what you love

21. Forgive and apologize

22. Be kind!

Everyone is experiencing their own battle(s). Be supportive, be sympathetic, be considerate and share words of encouragement. It costs $0.00 to remind someone that they're not alone in this world and that they matter.

23. It's okay to not be okay

*24. MENTAL ILLNESS IS REAL!

For years, I've lived with depression. I became its prisoner, consumed by darkness, and as hard as I fought.. my will to live slowly died.

Because I was told to “get over it” or “it’s all in your head”, I wore a mask and pretended to be okay, hoping that it would eventually be my reality, but every breath became more painful than the last, existing became overwhelming and fighting to get through the day began to feel like the fight of a lifetime.

It's an uncomfortable roller coaster ride that we all want to get off. I've tried reaching out to friends and family, yet the responses I've received, and the lack of comfort constantly left me feeling like a burden - like I was doing something wrong. I felt like my thoughts and feelings were invalid so, I buried them and tried to fight, alone. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I'm still fighting. It doesn't get easier but, I'm hoping that it gets better.

Know that your feelings are valid, your thoughts, your anxiety … your depression. Don't ignore the signs and please don't downplay the severity of someone’s mental health because you don't understand it or have never experienced it. We were forced to fight these endless battles and fight until the very end because the alternative is unthinkable and soul crushing.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call the “National Suicide Prevention Life Line" at: 1(800) 273 8255, and if verbal conversations are too difficult for you, try this cool chatroom I discovered when I was on the verge of throwing the towel in: Chatzy