You're Pretty For a Black Girl..
I remember the very first time I was told that I was "pretty for a black girl”. For a split second those five words lingered in the air, and although they didn't feel quite right, I accepted what I thought was a genuine compliment, moved on and eventually forgot all about it. It was my first encounter, but it wasn't my only. I heard this several times through out my adolescent years but I never questioned it and I never spoke up.
Several years later it happened again, but by then I was fully aware of disrespect woven between those five words. At the time I remember wanting to speak up, however my anxiety completely took over and I just sat there - tightlipped and bothered. I couldn't find the words. My mind went completely blank, and I just sat there trying to process and comprehend why and how someone could be comfortable or bold enough to deliver such a back handed compliment.
It isn't my job to change someone's mind about who are what they find attractive and it isn't my intention. Whomever you are - you're entitled to your own opinion. You have more than the right to voice your opinion, but please try again. When those five words leave your mouth you're making it "clear" that you don't find African American women attractive - which is just fine. You're also being disrespectful, hurtful and insensitive. It isn't flattering and it doesn't make us feel pretty. If your "compliment" is meant to be genuine I strongly suggest rethinking your choice of words. If not, keep your mouth shut and admire our melanin magnificence from a distance.
Skin color shouldn't define someone's beauty, however our black is rather beautiful.
Aren't we so much more than our looks and stereotypes? Do we not have so much more to offer the world? Aren't you drained from the pretty for a black girl insults and the angry black woman stereotypes?
We can't change society's mind overnight.. or ever, but like I've mentioned before - we can start within our own community. We can start by protecting, respecting, loving and uplifting one another.
Yes, our black is beautiful, but you as an individual are beautiful, fierce, phenomenal, magnificent, amazing, powerful, great, worthy and so much more.
Please continue to glow in your melanin, shoot for the moon, aim for the stars and make your dreams come true.
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